Kristen MartinekComment

surrendering & embracing.

Kristen MartinekComment
surrendering & embracing.
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sometimes months fly by and i think. wow, I’m really neglecting this beautiful space I have here.

sometimes I am inspired to do something about it.

sometimes I am not.

right now, I’m inspired.

I don’t feel a need to go into any detail about what has been going on the past few months because in reality, the details don’t even matter. The emotional ups & downs, the million & a half changes, all the moments of having no answers. The only thing that really matters is it led me right where I am and it feels so damn good and so very right.

The sudden loss of a relationship isn’t easy. One day you are wildly loving your person, you’re starting to plan for a wedding, and suddenly overnight it’s ripped away from you with very little closure. Yet despite not being the one to end it, I knew from the moment the decision was made, it was absolutely for the better. Had I wanted that? At the time, no. But in all honesty I knew it was right. And I knew it was right because I felt an immediate sense of relief; a relief from so many feelings of resistance. I can’t help but trust so deeply in the magic of our universe, the timing of how everything unfolds, how perfectly divine our lives are laid out for us, that surely this was meant to happen. So I immediately accepted it.

I understood my situation so objectively which reallllly helped me navigate that space. I never once victimized myself or felt rejected. Which is pretty impressive if you ask me and I am so damn proud of myself for never giving those thoughts the time of day. But even though I had an incredibly healthy perspective, that doesn’t mean it was easy. Because at the end of the day, I’m human {!} and had to go through the rollercoaster of emotions.

Breakups often come with a breakdown… up & down… it’s all about that balance. But a breakdown doesn’t have to be dramatic or some horrible experience. In fact, I don’t view a breakdown as being negative because in my eyes, that break “down” is merely a shedding of the things that are no longer serving you. You’re breaking “down” to rise into a more resilient & stronger version of Self.

So in my mind, it’s almost like ‘okay, universe, bring it on.. I want to grow”.

Our journey getting to where we deeply desire may at times be messy, misaligned, and confusing. Yet those moments are there for a reason. They present themselves to shake us back on course; to get rid of the things that aren’t serving our higher selves, to (re)connect us with people, places & the things that do serve. So while the path getting there may bring up a lot of frustration, confusion and overall discomfort, I truly believe surrendering and embracing the journey for what it is, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

"You know great things are coming when everything seems to be going wrong. Old energy is clearing out for new energy to enter. Be patient."

-Ambi Kavanaugh

I was at the peak of processing and releasing last year’s experiences when one of my best friends sent that quote to me {which was just a sliver of one of the most incredible posts I’ve ever read on “going through it”}. She couldn’t have shared it at a better time; I was needing this reminder, despite truly knowing everything always works out the way it does for a reason; a reason that is always benefiting us. Relationships end for the better. Business deals fall through for a reason. Things you’re hoping “fit” don’t because they are simply not meant to. You reach a crossroad in life you never imagined being at but you did… for a reason. The people, places, experiences that are precisely aligned for you will present themselves in perfect timing.

So, embrace those periods in life that simply suck. Let the shit feelings come up, feel them. Feel them so you can acknowledge & let them go. Release the old energy to allow for a clearing of space to be filled with new, invigorating, positive energy. Don’t suppress or distract yourself. In fact, don’t even try to fix what feels wrong because you’re fine. Everything is fine, life doesn’t always feel amazing. Sometimes things just suck and that’s all there is to it - those difficult times in life hold such value in our journey.

If I could “theme” 2018 for myself, it was learning to be okay with all the things that were not okay. And I have to say I did a fairly good job at this {thanks to SO MUCH YOGA}. I still had a great year, despite what felt like stressor after stressor. Despite me feeling like I wanted to rip my hair out so often… I was simply okay with things not being okay.

Last year was tough but just as the year started to end, suddenly things shifted. I’m not one to necessarily believe in the ‘new year, new you’ mindset because I operate in a way that every single day I have the ability to recreate & be a better version of myself. I believe in living intentionally every single day and taking action towards my goals, visions, and deepest desires. But the way life realigned recently just so happened to come together around the new year.

Suddenly, everything just settled. And ever since there has been a deep sense of calm & rejuvenating light. So many of the unknowns I had been surrendering to in the fall, were becoming knowns and life felt like it was falling perfectly back into place… I was navigating myself back into true alignment. I feel so free, alive and inspired again by everything and everyone that is a part of my life. Grateful for where I am right now is quite an understatement.

So if you’re “going through it”, I promise after what may feel like a shit storm, there is great reprieve.

because great things are always coming.

surrender to what is.

remember, this too, shall pass.

feel your way through your journey.

you’re protected, you’re guided, and you’re right where you need to be.

be grateful for the breakdowns, the loss, closed doors and the contracts that end.

you’re simply en route to a more beautiful and enriching life.